In Pursuit

For the small handful of people who have ever read my blog the three times I've posted, I wanted to explain the constant changes being made to the title and look. I have wanted to be a blogger for some time now; not for the title of being a "blogger," because I honestly think that sounds rather nerdy. However, I love expressing myself through writing, and if my writing encourages or challenges someone else, then I'll feel like I'm making some small contribution of worth. Either way, writing is a very tangible way for me to process my thoughts and to stop and meditate on one thing. It is almost therapeutic in a way. Call me crazy, but that's how God made me I guess!

Anyway, I think I've finally landed on a theme and title for this blog that really fits me. As I know you've already noticed, I've renamed my blog to "In Pursuit" with the tag line being "of the One who calls me His own." For some reason, that is quite a summary of me. As much as I lie to myself at times thinking I have arrived or will arrive one day, the Lord constantly reminds me that my relationship with Him is ongoing until completion in the day of Christ Jesus. Until then, I am in constant pursuit of Him. I will never have enough of Him. I will never be finished in my walk with the Lord. He fills my cup to overflowing, and overflowing, and overflowing. He will never become "old news," "stale," or "out-dated." Even in His never-ending(ness) and constancy, I will be the one who is always learning and being blown away by Him.

The fact of the matter is, this is a very humbling truth. So often in life we have "end goals." We have a destination we are trying to reach and we have a countdown for the next stage of life (guilty!) But the Lord has been reminding me that that's not how it is with Him. The moment I stop pursuing Him is the moment I start sliding backwards and out of communion with my Creator and Redeemer. My relationship with Jesus does not have to be perfect because He is the only One who achieves perfection. I'm still the sinful party that is going to mess up and be thick-headed. It is going to take me a lifetime to learn the things He wants me to learn. It is going to take years upon years to reach spiritual maturity. And the humbling part is that He completely understands that. He's so faithful that I don't have to worry about running out of time in a lifetime pursuit of Him. He is continually pursuing ME, so that I will pursue Him right back. The fact that I will never be able to get there on my own apart from Him is what is so humbling. I'm even completely dependent on God even to be able to strive after Him. But that is also His desire for me, so He'll be with me every step of the way.

I no longer want to be striving after a certain level of spiritual maturity. I no longer want to strive after biblical womanhood. I no longer want to strive after being the best leader I can be. I want to strive after Jesus. Period. Which, by the way, the beauty of strictly striving after Jesus is that in doing that, His grace will mature me, make me into a godly woman, and provide me with leadership opportunities. But if those things become my goal, then my target is off and I'm then missing the whole point. The pursuit of Jesus leads to the glory of God in my life, and that is my purpose and highest satisfaction. His glory is His goal. His glory is my joy. I'm just a participant in His magnificent, Sovereign plan. And it is by being an active participant that gives my life purpose and meaning which then leads to even more glory for Himself to receive.

It's not about me, and I'm finally beginning to understand that.

Praise the Lord.